Monday, January 9, 2012

Shit Girls Love When they Are Hungover.

Dec.1st 2009 - Also known as the worst morning ever.

I know I had intended this to be a fashion blog but I need to just be real, I love a lot of things just as much as I love denim vests and tutus. This post is particularly inspired by real life events – I want to just blame Vancouver’s victory over Boston but in reality I’m just a twentysomething with a lot of friends who love to party.

I have one friend who really enjoys hangovers, he’s fucked clearly because hangovers are possibly the worst thing ever and anyone who enjoys lying around in bed and feeling like the world is spinning around them is either a drug addict or a liar. Hangovers blow but there are some things about them that make them way less awful.

This should be unspoken but it is most people’s favourite part of being hungover. Justifying waking up to the noise of “I NEED A BEEF AND CHEDDAR” (that girl is now a vegetarian) and then mowing down on so much processed meat and sodium is my single favourite part of being hangover. This diet does change from person to person but the food you normally would have self control against your hangover decides as one more dick move its going to have you convinced you NEED it. A double order of hot wings for myself? Don’t mind if I do.
The first time I made bacon wrapped cheddar smokies on a sunday funday
In “real life” I hate naps. I never have them if it can be avoided because that’s time I could spend being productive ... or you know on tumblr. When I am hungover somehow passing out in my jeans surrounded by empty Wendy’s wrappers is my idea of nirvana.

Looks No Longer Matter
I’m sure at some point in my life I’ll post about how much I hate sweat pants in public but for now just know I don’t think its “ok” behaviour. UNLESS you’re hungover, then it’s perfectly acceptable to go get New York Fries in sweat pants and last night’s makeup. A personal favourite is walk of shaming ... without shame. Silk top with no bra? Your hangover has made the point that what you’re wearing is not important and the eyeliner that’s mysteriously on your chin? Your fucks have other places to be so it’s not on how you look. What a relief.

No One Can Tell You What To Do
Unless you work and you’re an irresponsible prick hangovers are typically a day to do whatever you damn well please and embrace that my friends because it won’t last forever. No is a word most people learn fairly easy early on, however the older we get the less comfortable we get using it. Dates? Snowboarding plans? Brushing our hair? When you’re hungover there is almost nothing I struggle saying no to. NO. It’s fantastic.
Lay In Bed With Your Friends
Male fantasy time, 4 girls in one bed together and no one is wearing pants. That happens to me at least once a month but in reality we are terrifying to look at and if you happen to be involved in this scene you will end up being emotionally scarred by our conversations not pleased with your sexual prowess. This is when we all discuss who was the most drunk last night, what we did (because by some miracle usually we don’t all black out the same time) how we all got home and  the massive shit we need to take.

I don’t need to go into detail, but it’s probably the same for dudes as it is for broads on this hangover topic.

When you’re hungover either EVERYTHING is funny or nothing is funny. Depending on if you ended up the one in bed who was deemed “most drunk last night” and unlike me don’t see that as a point of pride. Usually my hangover days are pretty much 50% laughing, and the remainder is staggered about this list, usually combined with laughter. 

JFK - Clone High just watch it, and look like this. 
Couch time
Watching TV/Movies is like food pretty much a classic that brings together all hungover people I assume around the globe, minus the people who don’t have TVs and in that case should stop drinking for a month and buy a TV just so it can enrich your Sundays. The thing is I don’t actually require the TV to be on to enjoy its hangover cure qualities. Pumping Atmosphere while lying on the couch, that’s awesome. Recounting my debauchery while lying on the couch? Fantastic. I could watch Clone High on a loop but as long as my couch is around all is ok, and because no one can tell you to leave it this is your sanctuary. 

As I was saying before, Hangovers suck but the things that are only justified because you’re hungover? Those things are the best, and remember team – if possible be hungover with a buddy because Sunday Fundays got invented that way and those may just be one of the greatest things ever

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